Cowpants (GW)
Cowpants (Pronounciation: Cow + Pants), generally called Cow, is a fictional character in the Gateworld Cantina adventures. He is a gallant warrior amongst the Cantina Crew. He is renowned for his fine swordsmanship, comical mannerisms, and rum drinking abilities. He is also a very proficient marksman when the need arises, although he by far prefers his sword. Cow also has a reputation for being a master flirt, which he has demonstrated on dozens of occasions. He also is considered one of the most random members of the crew, many crewmembers keeping a running tally of the "Random Cow Moments". It is estimated that the current list exceeds 14,000. Cow is also one of the longest serving crewmembers on board the Cantina, having served since her inception. He is also serves as one of the head officers of the ship, even captaining her for a period of time while Mapp was dead. Family Life Cow is the child of Commander Jumper and an unknown man, though repeated clues suggest that Mapp himself is Cow’s father. Whether Cow is adopted or not is also highly contested, though general consensus is that he is in fact adopted, not biologically related to CJ or Mapp. However, recent DNA conducted by P-90 evidence claims otherwise. Jelgate is a clone of Cow, and as such, the pair call themselves brothers. How DNA was extracted from Cow and implanted into the newest breed of Kull Warrior is unknown, but the superior genes are no doubt responsible for the extremely long lifespan that Jelgate holds, which is approximately as long as any other human, though most Kulls live only for a number of months. The fact that the two share the same DNA has gotten both Jel and Cow into trouble numerous times. Cow is married to Teyilia and through her has three children. Two of them, however, have alien DNA in them due to a certain extra terrestrial who fell in love with Cow, and proceeded to make him pregnant on two separate occasions. Both children were later transferred to Teyilia where they picked up some of her DNA. One child now lives in the Cantina basement and the other two have left the Cantina to join the military. Cow’s relationship with Teyilia has recently fallen into a rocky patch, but they pair are still managing to persevere. The Cantina’s Opening Era Cow was one of the first people into the doors of the newly established pub, the Gateworld Cantina, where he quickly became drunk and passed out. This soon turned into habit for him. One night, however, he drank so much that he passed out and wasn’t heard from for a month. He awoke to find the usual brawling, and continued his drinking tendencies. However, he quickly became enamoured of the fight against the zombies and many other ghastly fiends that the cantina ran into on a regular basis, and quit his drinking tendencies to fight against the zombies. His weapons of choice were an empty alcohol bottle and a knife. The Moderator Incursion Cow used his amazing powers of seduction to escape the wrath of the mods during the Moderator Incursion, even managing to gain the affection of one of them. During this period, he created a vast refuge of the Free Cantina Peoples (The Cantina 2.0) outside the moderators reach, and there the people prospered. With the knowledge that the Cantina could truly never die, he went back to Gateworld to spread the word of the greatness of the Cantina. He also began combating the growing darkness within the Cantina. With the efforts of so many people fighting back against the growing darkness, the Cantina Crew persevered and the Cantina was saved. Cow-spiracy The members of the crew were left confused when Cow's real life sister showed up on the boards, claiming that Cow was, in fact, female. Her efforts managed to convince several crewmembers that Cow was female, though some remain skeptical. There can be no definitive evidence either way, however, and the crewmembers have had to pick sides based on their own beliefs of Cow's character. General consensus is that Cow is female. This does, however, bring Tey's relationship with Cow into question. Name Controversy The name Cowpants has brought along much controversy. Many people assume that Cowpants is, in fact, a Cow that wears pants. Therefore, in popular culture, Cow has been represented by a picture of a cow. Cow himself has long maintained that he is a human that wears pants with a cow pattern on them. However, in a recent documentary, Cow was shown as a human wearing cow patterned chaps over top of his pants. Whether or not he still wears these chaps is undetermined, but he has been enjoying the use of Renette's pants for months. This article is about the Cantina character "Cowpants". For the TGCC character, see Cowpants Category:Cantina Category:Gateworld